Say No to Fear and say Yes to Transforming your Fear into the Fuel to success.
Wow, we are already on the 7th of January 2020. Time has gone so fast and 2019 went in a blink of an eye.
The New Year arrived so quick, at least for me. Time flew by and now is the time again to set goals, intentions and resolutions. I am not very good at setting long term goals but I have learned that it is a process that keeps me focused and successful.
How many of us will actually see through to the end? I have friends (and I was for years the same) who set high goals, but by the end of March all is back to square one, and the goals are just too difficult to achieve or as one of my good friends says, when life kicks in we follow and obey.
I was following this trend for a couple of years, and I figured out it is not the life that kicks in it is FEAR. You can argue with me about that but what is the reason you do not achieve your goals?
Fear is in our daily life. What would life be without it?
Fear gets to the best of us, whether it is fear of failure, fear of success, fear of change or even fear of fear.
We all have experienced fear to some point in our lives, and it can be a big block or obstacle that is holding us back to achieve our goals and being truly successful.
No need to panic, there is a solution for everything. You can conquer your fear in simple and easy steps.
As it is a time to change and a new beginning I love to give you a gift.
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Here are my top 10 fast-acting tips for you to conquer your fear this year, including one secret hot tip that I have used to overcome my fears.
1. SEPARATE REALITY FROM PERCEPTION
See the reality of the situation for what it is. Be rational is it a real fear or a trigger fear from your brain.
Fears are just emotions. To find out is it a similar emotion you experienced and your brain is playing games with you.
You need to understand that your mind will choose similar events and triggers those emotions you experienced before in a different situation.
Sit down and get rational and clear on the facts. Remember you are in charge, not your mind.
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2. Identify the Triggers, Fear can be triggered by different situations from the past.
Isolate the specific aspects of the situation that trigger your fearful thoughts.
What’s the worst that could happen? How bad could it be? Calm down and look at the triggers from a distance, separate your emotions and feelings and look at it as it in a different way.
How? Don’t react, keep calm and go through the obstacles you see in it. Then decide how you will conquer them.
In short change, the way of looking at your triggers and you will see a different approach with a clear head works wonders.
A short story of mine, 2 years ago I had to use crutches as I injured my left leg severely. I used crutches for 6 months, and it was a terrible time. Alone the pain was killing me.
Anyway, I had to go around and meet customers. I use the MRT, and all MRT have escalators. One day someone was in a hurry and pushed me besides, and I and two others fell off the escalator.
Since then, I have had a fear of using the escalator. It took me 9 months to get over it. You can conquer your fear if you want and willing to change, but it takes time.
I am better now. But it took me 9 months to get over it.
3. Know where fear lives in your body. Did you know that fear can cause chronic pain?
Be in tune with where your fear lives in your body. Headaches are sometimes not headaches as the brain sees them as a similar pain, so it puts it into the category of headache.
It is a proven fact that your brain is responsible for achieving your goal, and it influences your goal achievement.
Different Fears trigger different emotions of the body.
It is a good thing as you can use it as an indicator when something needs to be addressed. You can act on it the right way. Be aware as your body has its own language.
An excellent example from Marissa Peers. She says when you do not want to go to a function or meeting, and you really get into the mood of regretting going there.
Your brain will come up with a solution and gives you, for example, the flu as your brain is responsible for keeping you happy. There you go with fever and a cold you are not able to attend the function.
4. Become an Observer and not an Actor for your Fears.
When you observe something, you do it from a detached place. So if you become an observer of your fear, then you’re not in it and reacting instinctively.
Prime your brain to recognize the obstacles teach your brain that you can overcome them.
Start doing it in your mind first and then you back it up with a plan. Write down and be aware of what triggers your fears. The more you understand the underlying cause, the better you can start rewiring your brain.
5. Listen to your inner talk. Do not get involved in a negative conversation with yourself.
When you listen to yourself during the day, catch yourself how you chat with yourself. Especially when you have a negative talk with yourself about the college or friend who just made you upset.
When you are aware of it then change it into the positive talk. Keep repeating it during the day.
You will be surprised how often you have a conversation with yourself in a negative way that involves others.
6. Create a new association and let the fear disappear
When you get this feeling of fear, and you can feel it is coming up, prepare yourself and come up with a picture that you love. Conquer it.
Say for example you worry about paying your bills, instead of going into the conversation with yourself on how to find excuses to the people of not paying your bills, visualize that you pay your bills, writing cheques or transfer it online.
If this is triggering your fear even more then picture something you love your pet or a person and do it so often as possible.
Eventually, the brain will associate your fear trigger with something pleasurable, and finally, the fear goes away. You successfully rewired your brain.
7. Consider the worst, turn it around and overcome your fear.
I am not joking, consider what is the worst that can happen, and come up with a strategy to overcome your worst fear. What is the worst-case scenario? Then build a plan and visualize all the obstacles you have to overcome.
Create in your mind a step by step plan. When you are done, sit for a few minutes and visualize your plan on how you overcome your worst scenario.
8. Look at the glass half full. Take a step back and tackle those creepy emotions called fear
Believe me when I say Perception is a compelling thing and how you actually feel about it.
The HOW you feel about the situation will dictate how you respond to a situation. Don’t act straight away, take a deep breath or 3 deep breaths and think … only then respond.
Think positively, and you’ll give yourself a better chance of success.
9. Learn how to create space. Get yourself a room.
That might sound a bit weird to you, but get yourself a room in your brain. I call it my sacred space. Go there when you feel you need a break.
I have made for myself a room in my brain with different doors, and when I need space to think I go there and take everyone who is in my mind chatter and lock them out.
I have a beautiful sofa with a stunning view of the ocean. I have learned this method from Jeffrey Allen.
You have to understand that fear happens in the emotional part of the brain, in the prefrontal cortex it is an instinct and natural.
FMRI Functioning magnetic resistant images studies
Most brain FMRI (functioning magnetic resistant’s imaging studies) have shown that when people have to make a significant change in their life triggers the activation fear centre. The emotional centre of your brain the amygdala causes most people,
a. either to freeze,
b. fight the change
c. or run away. (read more )
Take a time out when fear is rising, use the breathing technic “breath in count 7 hold for the count of 4 and breath out on the count of 8. ” Repeat this breathing exercise 4 or 5 times, count in your mind that breaks the cycle of fear by stopping it before it takes over your brain and body.
This simple technic will give you time to calm down and allow your rational brain time to catch up.
10. MAKE IT SAFE. Your Saferoom is a way to gather strength.
It is easy said than done but when you feel safe, there is no need to feel fear.
The best way to overcome fear is to create the safest environment possible. I am not talking about the physical environment, of course, that has to be safe too.
I mean create an environment within yourself in your head. With practice being aware of your thoughts.
Create a Gratitude Journal and write down things you are grateful for. The best time is the first thing in the morning before you go out of bed.
In the evening, reflect on what you have been grateful for the whole day. You can use a simple book or buy a nice journal with daily affirmations or quotes.
The more often you recall things you are grateful for the environment around you is changing. As your thoughts create your reality. Everything you think is your creation excellent or bad.
By overcoming your fear you create a safe environment for yourself. Start with a list and write down how many times you have negative chit chats with yourself.
As I said before you will be surprised how many times you catch yourself of that limiting belief chit chat. I know they are rooted deep but be aware of it is the fastest way to get over it and stop limiting yourself.
One side effect that will come out of that is that you will become more relaxed and happy and the environment around you will change to match your good vibes.
It is a fact that life can be changed by being more positive and being aware of our thoughts. The more positive you are, the easier it will be for you to achieve your goals.
No fear holds you back. If you understand your fears, you have the key to success in your hand. You just have to unlock the power within you.
Finally, don’t let fear dominate your life. Conquer it, and you will reach your highest potential possible.
My secret tip on staying motivated and be reminded in a pleasant way every day of my goals is
I create a vision board for the whole year. It is fun and it put’s my goals like a vision in my head. Every time I look at it I am getting excited as I create amazing things in my life.
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I hope you enjoyed reading my blog 10 Ways To Say No To Fear This New Year and yes to achieving your goals.
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